Have you thought much about longing? If you have been single for any length of time, I would imagine that you are conscious of it as a companion on your journey. And hopefully it is one that you have befriended consciously because if you haven’t, you may be more its servant than it a servant of yours. What do I mean by that?
I am aware that there are times that I feel a longing for contact. It may be a different mix of emotional, physical, intellectual and or spiritual for each of us, but it is a natural human impulse to want to connect, whether that is with a friend, but more compellingly, with a lover/partner. If we are identifying with the longing, rather than witnessing that we have it, we may impulsively reach out in ways that can be destructive to our well-being in the long run; one example would be to become intimate with another person without really having a sense of their values and integrity.
The upside of longing is how it motivates us to reach out and to explore. It can be daunting to put yourself out there, especially with all the messages the media gives us that this is a dangerous world. It takes some courage to be willing to risk getting to know new people. Without that yearning for deeper connection, it would be easy to hide oneself away while wilting on the vine.
Mindfulness and deep honest communication of what is authentically true for you are key in navigating this new world of singles; valuing yourself enough to keep your impulses in check and to give yourself time to really feel clear about your feelings and priorities. A person may be charming and attractive, but is their temperament compatible with yours? Do they enjoy the same kinds of activities? Do you share the same values and are your goals compatible?
I have developed a love and appreciation for my longings. They guide me and help to move me forward. I hold the needs that the yearning reflects close to my heart and allow them to inform me of what resonates and nourishes me. I trust their guidance and know they will show me the way. And I know that in my listening deeply with self restraint, that I will know when to hold back and when to let go.
Blessings on your journey. Value yourself enough to take the time you need to know what is right for you. You deserve it.