Relationships are central in our lives: our relationship to ourselves, to other people, and to the world around us. Now, in my 60s, I am acutely aware of the challenge that single baby boomers are facing in this world that is changing so quickly. Computers are taking over the match-making process, and finding a comfortable and safe environment to meet like-minded singles can be difficult. At this stage of life, most of us have lived with others, had significant love relationships, lost loved ones and experienced relationship deeply. Many of us are, for the most part, no longer looking to relate superficially, but to find someone we respect and trust with whom we can grow and love now and through the ending stages of life.
Bringing different needs and expectations to relationship, at this time in our lives, in a social environment that has become increasingly more mechanized, creates challenges to make contact in a more natural and personal way. In this new millennium, one of the most critical tasks we face is clear, honest, heart-centered communication between people and particularly between partners. The change in mores, gender roles, finances and spirituality have revolutionized our expectations and made relating a more dynamic and crucial process for a viable relationship. It is therefore incumbent upon us to try to use all the tools that we can muster to know and accept ourselves as we are, and to communicate from a place of integrity and transparency in order to create a foundation for relationship that is based on honesty and trust. Through authenticity, we can evaluate honestly what connecting points and commonality we have with a potential partner.
For this purpose, I have created the kind of event that I had wished was out there for me: a facilitated process of meeting singles in a safe, structured and comfortable environment. What I want to create is a safe space for people to be who they are, and consciously explore those around them. My hope is that we can all agree to do this through intention, attitude and behavior. A heart-centered space. A place where there is a shared intention of self-awareness, curiosity and openness and a desire to know ourselves and those around us with the possibility of meeting someone special… What better way to create authentic relationship than to create an environment where we can each feel free to be who we uniquely are and in which we can each feel safe and appreciated?
To foster this, it helps to consciously call upon a non-judgmental witness within ourselves that encompasses all of our parts without over-identifying with any, (especially the internal judge and its ever-present drone of comments about ourselves and those around us.) Noticing our patterns with a sense of curiosity, we can observe our orientation, how we organize around our experience, and take responsibility for how we respond:
–What attracts or turns us off in others (and how is that a reflection of how we feel about ourselves?)
–How can we best be aware of our needs for safety while honoring our desire for contact, and consequently create boundaries that are in alignment with our own needs and preferences?
–Are there habitual ways that we have oriented toward members of the opposite sex that limit our ability to perceive them in their wholeness and humanity, thereby limiting the potential for authentic intimacy?
Being grounded in a sense of our own self-worth, while witnessing how we are impacted by others, is fertile ground for authentic connection. Remembering that another person’s response is often more a statement about them than it is about us, helps us to not take things personally. Remembering that each situation is an opportunity to learn the next thing opens the way to embrace the opportunity fully. Being in an environment surrounded by other singles who are motivated to connect in this kind of conscious way is truly a context filled with potential!
Meeting Consciously: Dating at a New Age
I am presently in the process of reflecting what I want to do with this event. If you have an interest, or an idea or suggestion regarding a venue for an event at which you would like to see this happen, I welcome your input. I have done this over a dozen times with good results but I think it’s ready for a new iteration. Thanks for your interest.
When you register, please make sure to email me and include your telephone number
so that we can communicate about pertinent information. Thank you!